Anyone else feel like their BPD makes them unlovable. Like everything would be so much better without it and my symptoms will always be too much for someone to love forever. Everyone always says “Oh well, I can handle your emotions” and “You’ll never become to much to deal with for me” so you start actually expressing your emotions to them and actually relying on them and asking for what you need and then your worst fears come true because you’re still too much for people and it will never change.
This is a huge thing ESPECIALLY with kids. To the parent, they lashed out when they were mad and forgot about it, expecting the kid to forget too. To the kid? It was a big moment that defined your relationship with your parents. Stuff my parents don’t remember doing or saying were things that to me spoke very, very loudly, that I was not safe to be open and honest with my parents.
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers, indeed.
This quarantine has showed me different sides of my parents and honestly? I’m not sure whether I’m the axe or the tree, but the stuff that’s happened? I’ll remember.
